06 Feb Difficult Decisions – How to Avoid the Regrets of Hindsight

How to make decisions you won’t regret – in business and in life

Written by Daniela Cavalletti

5 min read

It might be the start of a new year, or just the current climate of extreme polarity in how humans see and interact with the world. My recent posts about how to add a personal angle to your writing without risk, and how adversity created a better way of working and living for me seem to resonate with so many of you.

Thank you for sharing your own stories with me. And kudos to those of you who already jumped out of your comfort zone – and started writing and publishing your frank personal experiences. For me the examining how we function and can lead a better business and life continues, too.

I‘m facing a big dilemma right now.

With Opportunities Come Challenges

I’m currently working from Europe, including visiting clients, family and friends. It’s an equally fun and tough experience. I’m being confronted with ageing parents and how to care for them in the years to come. I have the opportunity to live and spend my time between Australia, The Netherlands and Germany – all while running my business as usual.

I’m in varying measures excited and scared by taking my business and life truly global.

How to Make Difficult Decisions?

I expected that contemplating the logistics of spending varying portions of each year each on a different continent would be what’ll do my head in. And yes, they are a few things that take some planning and working out – but they are mostly peanuts in comparison to something else. These are just ‘things’ or ‘stuff’ I need to deal with … The difficult decisions tend to be around people, relationships, and the emotions that tend to be attached to them.

How can I – how can any of us – make those kind of important decisions when often there are no obvious choices or solutions?

Will You Feel Good About Your Decisions (and Yourself)?

One of the most challenging situations for me in this scenario is how to deal with a tricky family member (isn’t there one in every family?), who will need to be involved in the process of caring for my parents down the road. We have had a very fraught relationship, and I cut ties many years ago for my own well-being. But they will need to be involved in some of what lies ahead. I’ve been squirming around the topic. Unable to find the right way of dealing with this.

I want to protect myself while ensuring my parents are taken care of as well as possible in future. Cue my very insightful husband. What he suggested to solve my dilemma is so simple, yet so effective.

I’m planning to use this measuring stick for my other important (and small) decisions as well.

Try it for yourself on a current problem or choice you are facing right now:

Imagine yourself five years from now.
How do you want to feel about the actions and decisions you took today?
About how you behaved and handled the situation?

In five years, looking back – will you feel happy with what you decided to do today?

Make Decisions You Won’t Regret – In Business and In Life

Applying these questions lit a few lightbulbs for me. Asking them and listening to my own instinctive answers got rid of the dread and worry – and replaced it with clarity and focus on how to act.

I’ll apply this powerful handful of question on a lot more areas of my business and life now. I’ll measure options and actions with this simple yet powerful yardstick:

“What course of action, what behaviours now
will ensure thatI’ll feel good about them and their effects on me and others in five years?”

• Is your brilliant business idea a clever reaction to a changing market … or is it only a distraction, a knee-jerk reaction out of fear?
• Should you sack that difficult client? Or do you simply have to find a way to get on with them until you can replace the income they generate; and how will you do that while staying sane?
• In your personal relationships: what is toxic, what is beneficial? And how can you balance what you need, doing the right thing and stuff you cannot change?
• And let’s not forget ourselves. Our daily decisions of whether or not to go to the gym, take time for reading, our kids, our friends, our hobbies, or simply time alone. Will you think “If only I had …” in five years’ time – or be happy how you looked after your own wellbeing?

What is the greater, long-term impact of the decisions we make today?

Tackling Dilemmas with the ‘5-Years-Hindsight Rule’

Life is a natural flow of ups and downs. We all experience happiness and problems. Leading our lives, we have to make many decisions – small and large – each day. What’s keeping you awake at night right now? And what are your options in dealing with this situation?

Try the ‘5-Years-Hindsight Rule’ to discover a sudden clarity about what you need to do. You’ll feel good when looking back in five years’ time. About how you conducted yourself, and the results of your actions.

This simple rule will make your hard decisions a lot easier.

I promise you.