02 Jul Whispering The (Business) Language of Love

Why Being Compassionate Makes Good Business Sense

Written by Daniela Cavalletti

4 min read

There was a time in early 2017, when my life resembled a Monty Python sketch: one surreal event following another. The “what the heck …?!” feeling reached top-pythonesque levels when my scooter was rear-ended by a car and I was sent flying.

Boom! Crack! … Sigh …

The day the car hit me, I felt I had checked into hotel Fawlty Towers for good. From nasty ex-landlords and an ailing family member, to looming wrangles with insurance companies and limping through the next months in pain: I had covered a fair number of exhausting events.

Have You Ever Seen A Quiet Italian or German?

No, me neither. If you know me personally, you’ll notice that I take pride in my mixed heritage of being German-Italian – and all the weird internal fights that brings at times. Shall I be creative or analytical? Socks and sandals, or high heels? Pasta or potatoes? Argggghhh! … One thing my mixed genes never fight about is whether to be active or passive.

Slowing down and – god forbid! – standing still is hard, very hard, for me.

Red-Hot Panic Button

The accident gave generously: whiplash in all its ugly glory, some very impressive bruises, plus a mashed-up left elbow that made typing very painful and mostly impossible, and more.

I started to panic.

How would I run my business? My team covers the project executions, the writing, yes, – but what about my clients? What about me looking after my team? And who would do the business development?

This all pressed some ego buttons for me: guilt, not being up to the task, not being good enough.

Do It Badly, Worry Later, Help Others

Anxiety started to jab at me, when, in the nick of time, I remembered a TEDx talk I had recently watched. It laid out three key factors that help beat that feeling of lack of control, fear and overwhelm; of panic:

1. Do It Badly – not being a perfectionist (who delays tasks) moves you forward into action from being passive and stuck
2. Wait to Worry – realise you want to blame yourself, … then forgive yourself for now and treat yourself like you would treat a friend: gently and with empathy
3. Help Others – it gives you purpose and connection, and shifts the spotlight away from yourself (and your worries)

Compassion, a form of the many-faceted empathy, underlies these coping techniques.

And it got me thinking.

Discovering Compassion

What I realised is that just how important the concept of compassion is to me. I’ve tried to make it a cornerstone of my business; how I treat my staff, suppliers, competitors and my clients – it’s become part of the CavaCom culture.

But I had never actually properly applied it to myself.

Being in the pickle I found myself in post-accident, I had two options: sink or swim. Focus on the negative – or try and wring some positives, some learning from the situation. Pretend it’s all going swimmingly and falter – or show myself some compassion and kindness.

It was worth giving it a whirl:

1. I started doing things ‘badly’: answering emails later than usual, not hiding the fact that I struggled to keep up, and asking for medical leave from my networking group which I’ve been religiously attending weekly for years.
2. I started to ‘worry later’ and first look after my health and recovery; taking breaks, wobbly walks, and working only short stints each day.
3. I managed to take focus away from myself and put bad days into perspective by doing simple acts of kindness; a smile here, a kind word there; a donation.

And it worked.

Everyone – clients, colleagues, competitors and staff – responded with understanding and support. An enormous weight was lifted off my shoulders. Compassion gave me the space I needed to get better and it ultimately sped up my recovery.

Turn Up the Compassion Dial

Too many of us still see showing kindness and compassion in business as a weakness; an Achilles heel. Thus, we subconsciously make that defeatist believe – that if we’re showing compassion towards our clients, competitors, colleagues, suppliers or staff, they will take us for granted or for a ride – a self-fulfilling prophecy.

But being kind to ourselves and showing compassion makes for better business. I found out for myself that it does. And science proves it, too.

So forget French: compassion is the (business) language of love.

Whether we’re at the giving or receiving end of compassion – it makes us happier, and more productive and loyal humans. That goes for all of us in business: the boss, the team, and the clients. And even your competitors.

Running a compassionate business? Ooh la la  – it’s a win, win, win!